The Concept of Failure and the Feminine

What do we mean by failure? This came up with a client in session this week. How do we decide that we failed at something if we made a sincere effort? Does failure simply mean setting out to achieve a goal and not reaching it? Can failure exist without attempting to reach a goal?

What we came to is this—the concept of failure is a masculine thing (meaning masculine energy, not necessarily pertaining only to male ppl). It’s a binary concept, either you failed or you didn’t. it’s also linear—you set a goal, make progress toward that goal, and achieve it or fail. There’s a place for this type of orientation, however this almost totally dominates our culture right now and our ideas of success.

As an alternative to this, we can picture the feminine as a circular, cyclical process. There isn’t really a space for failure on a circle but rather, everything is constantly in a process of becoming…and as soon as it becomes that thing it’s already on it’s way to becoming something else. So you might set out with an idea of where you want to go but whether or not you end up there is immaterial. It’s the process, the interaction between self and the universe, the integration of our learning on that path that takes us somewhere new. That cycle is really endless, as long as we keep engaging with life. Failure is irrelevant to the feminine. Failure is an atomized, static state that She has no interest in. A few months ago, I set out to post on Instagram at least once a week. But the feminine had other plans for me this summer ;) So, did I fail at posting frequently on Instagram? If I am only looking at the one, linear metric, then yes, I did. But when I put that in the context of the many cycles spiraling in me and around me, that one small fact seems pretty irrelevant.

It's ok to have linear goals. But once you set the goal, you might play with surrendering that goal to the process of life and be open to what unfolds.